tweet, friend, trend.

I spent the night (attempting) to teach my mom about/ how to use Twitter. The best part of this is that I found out she has 7 Twitter accounts. She kept starting new ones because she couldn’t remember her user name/ password and didn’t understand how to use it. Hilarious. The worst part about this is that, well, now she has a Twitter and a vague idea how to use it, meaning I (and others) will get several emails and texts, thinking they were tweets.

Those of you who may be thinking I’m being too hard on dear old mom obviously aren’t Facebook friends with her. My mom thinks her newsfeed is her wall and is always confused. She will respond to or comment on statuses that were written months ago and write completely inappropriate things on your wall. There is a “message” option for a reason, mother.

On one particular occasion, Mike sent me flowers at school just because he’s cute. I wrote a thank you note on his wall and she commented: “Did Mizzou win?” on the post. When no one responded to her, she commented again, “Yes mother, they did!” (What do flowers have to do with the Mizzou game?)

You might be thinking, “come on, that’s not too bad.” But you’d be wrong if you thought I was done. She then made her status “he should have gotten me those flowers for being such a cool mom” because she thought she was writing on my wall. (Also, she isn’t his mom, so why would he get her “cool mom” flowers?)

Another great mishap happened one night of parent’s weekend at Mizzou. After a football game, we headed to a local bar with some friends. There, I put on my mother’s engagement ring (just to show her how it fits me perfectly and it should have my name on it in her will)—(am I a terrible person?). Anyway, while showing it off to my friends, one took a picture and it ended up on Facebook with the caption “Meara’s engaged” underneath it. (Clearly a joke, because I am not, in fact, engaged) My mom was able to see the photo because she is “friends” with both my friend who posted the picture and myself.

A few days later, I got a message from one of my aunts (who I am NOT Facebook friends with or really close to in general,) asking where the “funny engagement picture” was. Apparently, my mom had written to our family (those of whom she is “friends” with), not to be alarmed by the engagement ring picture, because I was not engaged and just trying on her ring for fun.

WHAT!?

When I confronted my mom, she couldn’t understand why I was weirded out. She was also confused on how my extended family couldn’t see my pictures, because she could. After a good half-hour explanation on how neither my friend nor I were “friends” with my family members, thus them not being able to see our pictures, she was still baffled.

This isn’t a one-time occasion, it actually happens all the time. My friends think it’s great and hysterical, but it’s not. I promise.

My sister and I have discussed starting a website entitled “Parents Make the Worst Friends”. It will be similar to “When Parents Text”, but related to Facebook. None of the real nuts or bolts has been worked out, but I think it would really be successful. We can’t be the only children who have Facebook-abusing parents, right?

We should patent it right away. Our only hope is that it continues to happen and she never learns the correct way to use Facebook. Maybe it will extend to Twitter and we could have two websites on our hands. Could be the million-dollar ticket. Thanks mom!